The Gender Friend: A 102 Guide to Gender Identity by Oakley Phoenix Book Review

I am currently in the hospital and can not for the life of me figure out how to get an image on this thing. Hopefully i’ll remember to add the book cover when I get home. I’m doing good all things considered. On to the review!

I figured it out 🙂

This book is like a kind friend. It is so accessible. It explains gender stuff like you’re talking to a friend. I am a nonbinary transmasculine person and I am really glad to see it was kind towards allies as well. I know people who are trying and really care but will of course make mistakes in learning and getting used to it. It’s pretty obvious who actually cares and who doesn’t.

This definitely shouldn’t be the only book you read on gender, no book can do it all, but it is a great and kind starting place! It truly felt like I was chatting with a friend.

Gender can be complicated. Books like this can help. I want to thank Netgalley and the publisher for the early copy and I will have to buy a copy when it comes out so I can give this to people in my life.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61402211-the-gender-friend

https://linktr.ee/Wickedjr

Weekly Wednesday Wrap Up July 13th, 2022

What I am currently reading

Why I’m Afraid of Bees by R.L. Stine

I started this last night. Not far in but i’m liking it so far. I feel awful for the main character!

What I finished in the past week

Monster Musume, Vol. 8 by Okayado – 4 stars

Not much to say. Still enjoying the series. Funny and like the characters.

Saga, Volume 5 & 6 by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples – 5 and 4.5 stars

Can’t say much about volume 5 and 6. If you haven’t read Saga yet I highly recommend it! This is me continuing my reread in preparation for volume 10 in October! A wonderful science fiction comic series!

What do I think i’ll read next?

Gender Queer: A Memoir Deluxe Edition by Maia Kobabe – I read this years ago and it meant so much to me! More than words can say, but I did write a review Here. So of course I needed the deluxe edition that just came out!

NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman – like I said last week i’m autistic and this is very highly rated.

The Gender Friend: A 102 Guide to Gender Identity by Oakley Phoenix by Oakley Phoenix – I got this from Netgalley.

A Little Pinprick by Paige Dearth – I also got this from netgalley and have loved a couple books by Paige Dearth before! I’m preparing to be emotionally devastated. Paige’s books tend to do that.

Monster Musume, Vol. 9 by Okayado – Continuing the series.

Other Stuff

I’m having surgery July 18th and will be in the hospital about a week most likely. I am not sure what i’ll be able to do while in the hospital or while recovering, which could take a month or 2. I imagine i’ll be able to blog once I get home even though i’ll still be recovering. Either way, health comes first. I’ll get back to blogging when I can if I have to take a hiatus. I do have a post scheduled for the 19th and the 26th.

Links to all my socials

My nonbinary trans journey

I grew up not feeling like a girl, but I also grew up hearing anything queer was a sin. I also grew up only knowing about trans women, trans men simply weren’t a thing i’d ever heard of until my late teens and I was in my mid-20s before I heard about nonbinary. So as a kid I knew I didn’t feel like a girl but I also knew I didn’t 100% feel like a boy, though it was much closer and comfortable, so I had to assume I just couldn’t “girl” properly. Which makes absolutely no sense.

That “not like other girls” trope? Yea, I loved that. I know now it’s problematic, but also, i’m actually not a girl, but back then I didn’t know any other options existed. But girls, like another other gender or lack there of, come in many varieties. There is no right or wrong way to be any gender. It’s just what feels right and true to you.

I hated long hair (and was forced into having long hair growing up) and many girly things. And there was some girly things I actually did like and man I felt embarrassed by that, but I tried to ignore it and just liked what I liked (and you should just like what you like). Like, I loved Lisa Frank for example. I said I hated the color pink on principle. I never hated the color pink. Though my favorite colors are blue and green but that’s because they remind me of the ocean and nature. However as a kid I couldn’t pick a favorite color so I said mine was purple because my favorite Backstreet Boy, Howie, said it’s his. I’ve since learned doing stuff like that is actually pretty autistic of me lol. I am autistic, always have been, but was nearly 32 when I learned that.

I always wanted to BE a boy, even pre-puberty. Then puberty came, and I hated it. And yes, I know, everyone hates puberty, but it was also a factor of “this is wrong, so very wrong, this isn’t what i’m supposed to look like”. I don’t know how else to put it. I was hoping i’d grow out of it, get used to it. I never did. I’m 33 now. I want to transition but currently am not able to. Hopefully one day. So for now I still “look like a woman” (you know what I mean) and I know this doesn’t invalidate me but hello dysphoria!

And yes, I realize now you are whatever gender you know you are, regardless of what you look like or what you were assigned at birth. But i’m just learning that in my 30s. So when I say I wanted to BE a boy, I also mean I wish I was born amab, instead of afab.

I was always jealous of guys, of how they looked, wished I looked like that. Jealous of girls with small boobs and could not for the life of me understand why they were jealous of my huge ones.

Of course i’m also bisexual so i’ve had that thought “Do I want to look like him or fuck him?” when looking at a cis guy and the answer has been

I’m multiply physically disabled, known i’m bi since 13 (still am), and knew I was “weird” before I knew i’m autistic, and have multiple mental health issues on top of it … so when I heard about nonbinary in my late 20s, already married to a man (who I loved and always will have a place in my heart, he died Feb 16th, 2021), I was scared.

I was scared because I was already “too much”. I can’t be any more strange, please no for the love of God NO!! That was my thought. I refused to look into it.

I had a breakdown at 30 and realized, i’m nonbinary. I came out and told my husband, he was supportive (even when I told him I want to transition). First I figured i’m agender, then demiguy (which for me is part agender part man). Gender had always been a source of pain and confusion so I just wanted to say “fuck it” but also had to realize, some gender i’m happy with and agender wasn’t my whole story. At first I said “any pronouns” but it became obvious she irked me.

Oh, that reminds me, when I still thought I was cis i’d have instances of people thinking I was a guy, say online or before they saw boobs, and I would never correct them and I realized it made me happy when they did that and very annoyed when they “realized” and corrected themselves and I couldn’t understand why it annoyed me for them to correct themselves, I mean, I was a woman, right? (no, and that shoulda been a friggin’ neon sign for me! But alas, the brain can refuse to realize things it doesn’t want to/isn’t ready for).

So eventually I changed my pronouns to they/them then they/he. They/He are my pronouns. I also go by Tyler now.

Other things that shoulda been neon signs: I’d daydream about being a guy, masturbating imagining I have a penis and am the guy I wish I was, wish I could chop off my chest, straighten out my curves, have a deeper voice, like the facial hair aspect I got of what appears to be pcos (though I could do without the pain thank you) and wish I had more facial hair. I have a lot for an afab person not on T but no where near a beard or “male-level” facial hair. I know there’s others i’ve realized but can’t think of them off the top of my head. Look up trans guy memes or something, you’ll probably find them.

I haven’t legally or physically transitioned at all yet, but i’d like to. Unfortunately things stand in my way, but hopefully i’ll get there. I’ve heard of trans people coming out in their 40s, 50s, 60s, even older, so I get hope from that, knowing there is no such thing as too late. And regardless, I know who I am, and the right people will respect me for who I am.

And now i’m starting to cry. This is my nonbinary trans journey so far.

And you know what? I hated dresses as a kid (though i’ve always liked skirts, certain ones like skater skirts that weren’t too girly to me) and even now being too feminine (in terms of looks) would make me very uncomfortable. I already have a huge chest and people constantly see me as a woman, it’s just … I don’t know how else to put it. But I can see myself if I get to a point of physically transitioning and looking more like I want, who I know myself to be, then feeling more comfortable dressing and being feminine. I’ve heard other transmasc people say the same thing so I know i’m not alone!

Who knows, maybe i’ll transition, and then wear a dress. I could see me doing that, when i’ve said countless times growing up “you won’t catch me dead in a dress” and shit like that. But sadly, I also know, i’d be terrified to go out in public as a man in a dress. I know there’s nothing wrong with being a man in a dress, but it can be unsafe to say the least. Who knows, I might get the opportunity to be who I am, but still be too afraid to be 100% me, because of the way society is. But I have to hope.

By the way, I also say i’m a nonbinary man. Nonbinary means not 100% either binary gender, some people, like myself, have a connection to a binary gender (or both), some have no connection to either. Of course gender fluid people also fall under nonbinary and they might go from one binary gender to the next. I hope i’ve explained that well enough, apologies if I have not.

I don’t need to make sense to anyone else. I love Jeffrey Marsh and what they’ve said at one point (look up Jeffrey Marsh on Twitter or Youtube, please, they are awesome); that respect has to come before understanding, it doesn’t work the other way around. Understanding can come after respect, but also, it’s ok if it doesn’t. I know people have this desire to understand everything, but it’s ok to not understand everything, just respect people for who they are even if you don’t get it. I don’t understand why that’s hard for people. I am sorry if it’s hard for you, but I believe everyone has the capacity for kindness and love. I’m not saying it’s always easy, i’m saying I believe everyone has the capacity.

When I refused to look into nonbinary and said “I don’t get it” (because I didn’t want to, as explained) I still respected people when they said they were nonbinary and did my best to use the correct pronouns. It wasn’t hard, despite me pushing away my own nonbinary-ness out of intense fear. It was years, like 4 or 5, of me knowing about nonbinary people before I would admit to myself that I am one.

I hope this makes sense, sorry it’s all over the place, but this is my story so far and I know who I am. Life is a journey and it’s never too late to learn more about yourself.

Edit before posting (good thing I write things up ahead of time) to add, not having the words for how I felt growing up and thinking how I felt wasn’t real and I was all alone, is why labels are so important to me. Also for thinking anything not cishet is a sin growing up. You can understand why labels are important to me, I finally have the words to describe how I feel, and I also didn’t make them up myself, meaning others feel the same way and i’m not alone! (Also, to certain people: all words are made up, language is a living thing). Labels don’t need to be important to everyone, but for some people they are, and both are ok.

Also, representation is important. I read Gender Queer and in a lot of ways, it was like reading my own story, so again, finally, seeing that i’m not alone. And I learned more words for things I had no idea had words! Feelings I didn’t know had words to describe them, that other people put into words before me. Words and representation are powerful.

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10 Books that define my reading taste part 2

I came up with 50 potential books for this and instead of narrowing it down to 10 I decided to make 5 posts lol. Here is part 2.

It by Stephen King

Horror. Very character-driven. I absolutely love character-driven and getting to know the characters! Coming of age.

Krampus: The Yule Lord by Brom

Fantasy. Holiday. Reminds me to not be a Grinch during the holidays. Emotional.

Better Off Red by Rebekah Weatherspoon

Paranormal romance. Vampires. F/F. Much erotic-ness. But also emotional with some depth. Romance. First book in a trilogy and for some stupid reason I never continued. I have it on audio now and need to reread it since I own all 3 physically.

Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are? by Frans de Waal

Nonfiction. Animals. ❤

Ice Massacre by Tiana Warner

Character depth. Friendships. Action. YA Fantasy. Queer. F/F.

Defining Myself: Transmasculine Experience Through Poetry by Michael Eric Brown

I am transmasc. Transmasculine poetry. I cried. A lot. Related so hard to this!

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

I also related a lot to this! A Nonfiction autobiography about growing up nonbinary and asexual. I am not asexual but I am nonbinary and I wish i’d had this as a teenager. It would have helped tremendously! I am so glad it exists now and I wish people would quit banning it!

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-first Century edited by Alice Wong

Nonfiction essays by disabled people about disability. These 37 essays feature a huge diversity of disabled people! Queer, Trans, People of Color, physical and mental disabilities, all very much featured in here! It’s accessible and so very much needed. If I could ask everyone to read just ONE book, it’d be this one! No question about it!

The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen

Fantasy. Fairy-Tale. I love The Little Mermaid.

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib

Exactly what it says, a queer Muslim memoir.

Have you read any of these? Thoughts?

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LGBTQ+ Book Recs Part 4

The last part for right now!

Satan, Are you there? It’s me, Laura by Aisling Fae

This is hilarious!

Black Queer Hoe by Britteney Black Rose Kapri

This poetry hits hard! I know it wasn’t made with me in mind, but certain things I did relate to (being queer, afab, deformed and feeling ugly) but even though I didn’t personally relate to a lot of it, it still hit hard and made me stop. Stop and think, take the poems in. I also appreciated that it remembers trans women are women! I’m a nonbinary trans guy but of course i’m still going to appreciate anytime trans people are remembered and seen as who they are.

I highly recommend this book, and don’t read it too fast.

My Rainbow by Trinity Neal and Deshanna Neal

This is a beautiful children’s book about an autistic black trans girl who needs long hair, but her mama can’t find what she needs in a store, after all she’s a beautiful black girl with curly hair and the wigs in store are so straight, so she makes Trinity her own rainbow wig and she loves it!

This brought tears to my eyes. It’s so wholesome and loving.

Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon

This is a wonderful book! It talks in easy to understand language as well as personal things. It talks about how the gender binary hurts everyone, yes even masculine men and feminine women, and how we could be more inclusive and kind. Words aren’t doing this justice. This is a book I wish everyone would read and I think everyone can get something out of. It’s also not long, yet packs a punch.

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib

My review right after I read it

My nose is sore from all my crying/nose blowing thanks to this book. Sadness, Happiness, Hope. I loved hearing Samra’s story of their life! I looked them up on twitter and it lists their pronouns as they/them. I listened to it on audio book through the library. This will be on my top favorites of the year!

I needed this in some ways. I don’t know what to say otherwise.

Capable Monsters by Marlin M. Jenkins

Pokemon. Poetry. Talks about racism and being queer and mental health and the darker side of pokemon. I mean think about it, a small child is let loose in the world by themselves to battle beasts and just read some of the pokedex entries about the pokemon, some of them are really dark! I loved this book.

Masquerade by Parker Lee

My review from when I read it last year

I loved this book of poetry! Some of the poems did hurt though and I feel bad for hurting because they were poems about them and their wife and I lost my husband early this year, and just stuff I don’t have anymore but i’m happy for them. I won’t go into all of it because it’s personal.

This book has quite a range imo. I felt these poems deep in my soul. The author is nonbinary (as am I) and that’s explored but so are other things. Some of them I literally went “I know this isn’t about autism but my nonbinary and autistic ass felt that in both ways”. I think a lot of people could relate to at least some of it. There’s also themes of abandonment and more. And it’s so very accessible. I highly recommend it!

When Aidan Became A Brother by Kyle Lukoff

A wonderful children’s book about a trans boy who gets a little sibling!

Transmuted by Eve Harms

As a deformed trans person myself this hit so many feels! The feelings of dysphoria, of being fetishized, of being looked at like a freak, of feeling like a freak. The way people treat you. I loved Isa. I want to gush about this book but i’m at a loss for words. I read it on KU and loved it so much I had to buy myself a physical copy. Highly recommend!

Growing Up Trans: In Our Own Words edited by Lindsay Herriot and Kate Fry

This book is so very much needed! Trans youth in their OWN words! Tips, book recommendations for further reading … I highly recommend this.

Golem Girl by Riva Lehrer

This is one of those books I wish everyone would read! I loved listening to her and learning her story. I need more memoirs like this, by disabled people. She is Jewish, disabled and queer.

The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz

Such a sweet romance! I wanted to hug Sal so badly, and i’m scared of robots. I cried at the end. I want more. I read it via Libby and had to buy myself a physical copy. It’s a romance between an F/F romance between an asexual human and a very human robot.

Love & Other Disasters by Anita Kelly

Initially it did take me a little bit to get into it because the characters annoyed me but i’m so glad I stuck with it because I fell in love with them and understood them! I love the nonbinary rep with London! A female/nonbinary romance is what i’ve wanted for so long! Seriously, my queer nonbinary heart is so happy! I need MORE female/nonbinary romances please! Pleeeeeease.

Now with all 4 parts that’s a lot of LGBTQ+ Rec’s! Remember, you can read LGBTQ+ books all year round, as LGBTQ+ people exist all year round. 🙂

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LGBTQ+ Respectability Politics

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of seeing all the puriteens and such saying LGBTQ+ people need to look “respectable” or some shit and pure uwu to the cishets to be better accepted. Google “respectability politics lgbtq+” and you’ll see it doesn’t matter what you do, it doesn’t change the queerphobe’s opinion of LGBTQ+ people. You can try and be as “pure” and “uwu” as you want, it will not change their opinion. Also, all this purity culture crap, hurts people. Seriously, you could go down a rabbit hole of purity culture and it’s fucking terrifying.

Queer sex is often seen as shameful by the lgbtq+ purity police for some reason. We aren’t allowed to be sexual? You don’t need to be sexual to be lgbtq+ but a lot of us in the lgbtq+ community, are sexual people, like cishet people are. Most people don’t bat an eye at cishet sexuality. It’s “normal”. But queer sexuality? The purity respectability politics police start screaming. Queer sexuality is normal to it’s just not normalized. If cishet’s can do something and be seen as “normal” and ok, why can’t it be the same for lgbtq+ people? Cishets can be sexual, can be kinky, can be polyamorous. So can lgbtq+ people.

Cishets can have their “problematic” media and stories and art. Why can’t queer people? I honestly have come to hate the word problematic. Can things be problematic? Sure. But it’s so over-used. Also, sometimes people use “problematic” things to cope. Sometimes they don’t but people can separate fiction from reality. Just because you like reading/watching something fictional doesn’t mean you want it to happen in real life. Fiction is fiction. People need to learn how to separate fiction from reality! And i’d like to believe most people can.

I’m not saying this can’t be complicated and nuanced, i’m sure it can be. But not everyone wants to just read/watch wholesome uwu stuff, and that’s ok, we should have all different kinds of rep. Cishets are allowed, why aren’t we?

The purity police also yell at any lgbtq+ person doing something they don’t think is respectable enough. In a polyamorous or open relationship? Kinky? Transgender? Not being transgender correctly? Not in a heteronormative type of relationship? They will attack you. It doesn’t matter to them if everything is 100% consensual (as it should be of course).

Being queer has often been about pushing boundaries, not trying to shove ourselves into the cishet-normative box or the closest to it box we can find anyway. Fuck the damn boxes!

Read and watch and create the stories you want. Fiction is not reality. And be whoever you are. As long as you aren’t hurting anyone (unless you’re being kinky and all parties involved want it but you know what I meant) that’s all that matters. People can choose to stay away from the media they don’t want engage with. That’s what trigger and content warnings are supposed to be for.

I am not listening to respectability politics. It’s fucking toxic.

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LGBTQ+ Book Rec’s Part 3

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

This story hit me hard from the very beginning. I was so angry at the Wajinru for putting the burden of their entire history all on Yetu’s shoulders. All alone, in so much pain, pain they should have been sharing together rather than dumping it all on Yetu and it was killing her, literally. As the story progressed though I understood why they did it. I felt so much for Yetu. At times I related to certain things from being disabled, neuro-divergent and a rather sensitive INFP. I just wanted to hug Yetu and scream at the rest of the Wajinru that they were killing Yetu and didn’t even seem to notice.

The writing flowed and sucked me in. The book may be short but it packs a powerful punch and has so much weaved within it I can’t believe it’s short. No sentence felt wasted, everything important. It is a complex story with several layers but I was never confused by it. Though I think I might have been if I had read it too fast rather than taking my time with it as I did.

Full review Here.

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

A classic for a reason! It talks about racism, sexism, love and more.

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

Part of my review when I read it

Felix feels like he is one marginalization too many as black queer and trans, and I can relate. I am not black but I am disabled. Obviously those are entirely different (though not mutually exclusive of course) but that is the same amount of marginalization’s (i’m aslo queer and trans-even if I don’t “look” like it, though spoiler alert, queer and trans don’t have a look) and i’ve felt that “too much” a lot. I’m also fat now and am mentally ill and neurodiverse in more ways than one. I’m not trying to make it a competition i’m just explaining how I get that “too much” feeling.

Felix feels so real. He makes mistakes, he isn’t perfect, he struggles with his identity. We get to see him fuck up, like people do. He felt like a real person and a real teenager, which is a good thing! He’s going through life and trying to figure so much out and having been so hurt by things. He thinks that he isn’t worthy of love (at least in part because of parental abandonment), and even pushes people away because of it, but eventually learns that he IS worthy of love and respect.

My full review Here. Suffice it to say this book meant a LOT to me! And it’s the only book i’ve seen so far to say the word demiboy! Felix is a demiboy like me and it states it on the page!

To Be Devoured by Sara Tantlinger

This is queer horror and very, very creepy!

The Curse of Doll Island: A Paranormal Suspense Thriller by Ocean

2 very different lesbians, one is famous the other is a quiet teacher who loves to knit, end up on a boat cruise to see a supposed island with cursed haunted creepy dolls. They later end up taking out a boat on their own for a picnic and end up stuck on it, at night, when the dolls are said to come alive. Of course they do and the curse is true.

Creepy cursed haunted dolls. crocodiles. snakes. clowns. I found this book fun and creepy. I enjoyed it.

There is a sequel that I was annoyed by some cis-normativity and other things but over-all still loved and gave 4.25 stars.

All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson

A memoir about growing up black and queer.

Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed

A cute fluffy romance between 2 fat (and fat-positive) women of color. One, Selena, is a black demisexual model, and the other, June, is an Arab-Persian Pansexual with anxiety and 2 cats (and a bisexual muslim mom). At one point Selena has a baby shower for some friends, a Female/Nonbinary couple and the nonbinary person uses she/her pronouns, showing that not all nonbinary people use they/them pronouns. Her name is Noor and she is also black.

Whenever someone’s pronouns isn’t known they/them is used, as well as some nonbinary people who use they/them all the time. I love how that is normalized.

This cute queer diverse fluffy romance made me queer heart so happy! It’s pure fluff and I loved it.

Full review Here.

Love Me for Who I Am, Vol. 1 by Kata Konayama

So many queer, nonbinary and trans feels! Yet I should reread this first volume because I haven’t continued the series and I have volumes 2 and 3.

Disabled Voices edited by S.B. Smith

This is an amazing anthology of diverse disabled voices! It has a mix of fiction, nonfiction, poetry and artwork. It has a variety of disabilities represented, both physical and neurodiversities. It has authors of color, queer, nonbinary and trans writers/artists. It is packed with awesome! I related to some, as a fellow disabled queer nonbinary person, and learned from others about specific disabilities I don’t have. I loved nearly everything in here! It is BY disabled voices FOR disabled people!

Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity edited by Micah Rajunov

A diverse range of nonbinary voices. Related to some as a fellow nonbinary person, learned a lot and was thought-provoking. Showed a range of ages too with older nonbinary people as well, showing it’s not a “young person” thing. Nonbinary folks have always been here.

Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Nonfiction essays about disability justice, by disabled queer femme’s of color. So much packed into this book! As a queer disabled afab person there was so much I related to, I swear it helped heal something inside of me, and as a white person there is so much that I learned from.

If you are abled, or white, or masc, or cishet…honestly, I recommend this book to everyone.

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Latinx trans boy brujo mc, m/m romance with said trans boy and a ghost.
So many feels. The amount of tissues I went through while reading this book O.O.
So many tabs. Tabs for days. A rainbow of many, many tabs.
The plot, the characters, the world, ALL OF IT!🥰🥰

I don’t know what to say, except READ IT! *Rolls around in feels*

Yes that was my review when I read it.

The Gilda Stories by Jewelle L. Gómez\

Lovely. Thought-provoking. Black lesbian vampire.

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-first Century edited by Alice Wong

I can’t express my love and joy at this book through words! My disabled self is LIVING! So many emotions I had while reading this book! Anger, at ableism and injustice, seeing that i’m not alone and relating to others on things that most just don’t get, and joy at all the disabled joy! This is a book I HIGHLY recommend to EVERYONE! If you are disabled you’ll find stuff to relate to and to love in this book. If you aren’t I truly think it’ll help you understand disabled people, disability justice and the ableism we face more.

These essays (37) feature a huge diversity of disabled people! Queer, Trans, People of Color, physical and mental disabilities, all very much featured in here! It’s accessible and so very much needed. If I could ask everyone to read just ONE book, it’d be this one! No question about it!

Full review Here.

To Touch the Light by E.M. Lindsey

A latino gay trans man (also a chef) and a undocumented immigrant from Russia (forced out of Russia) who is half-blind, Jewish and gay. Age gap. M/M Chanukah HEA romance.

So many feels! I really felt like I got to know these 2 guys, I wanted to hug them, rooted for their happiness. It touched on so many important things in regards to both of them. This is definitely a favorite!

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My Kindle Unlimited Borrows

These are what I currently have borrowed from Kindle Unlimited that I need to read! Keep in mind that once you’ve borrowed a book from KU it stays there until you return it even if it’s taken off of KU so there is no guarantee you can still borrow them from KU!

Vampire’s Lust: A Paranormal Erotic Tale by E.V. Gray

I like vampire erotica but really haven’t read much of it. Due to shame really, but that ends now! Now I just gotta get to it.

Siren by John Everson

A mermaid horror. I want to read more mermaid books, and more horror, so 2 birds 1 stone.

Cirque Berserk by Jessica Guess

It’s in the Rewind or Die series but they are all standalones. I’ve read Transmuted by Eve Harms in it and highly recommend it! A transgender body horror! This, Cirque Berzerk, is a slasher involving a carnival. Sounds fun!

The Caribbean by Rob Kidd

This book is why you’ll notice i’ve borrowed 21 despite the max of 20. How? Well before I got KU I found out about prime reading, I had prime already but had no idea about prime reading for a very long time (so when I learned of it I had to check it out), and borrowed it from there. So even though it’s now on my KU borrows because all of prime reading is on KU and that’s how they do it I guess, it doesn’t count as against my KU borrows because I got it from prime reading, and STILL haven’t read it yet!

I love Pirates of the Caribbean, and I refuse to watch any if Johnny Depp isn’t Jack Sparrow.

Seed to Harvest: The Complete Patternist Series by Octavia E. Butler

I’ve read Kindred by Octavia E. Butler, but I think that’s it. I definitely need to read more by her!

Daughter Of Earth And Water: A Biography Of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley by Noel B. Gerson

Have I mentioned before that I am obsessed with Frankenstein, and the author Mary Shelley? (lol, yes, yes I have).

No Room At The Inn by Brooke Winters

I typically avoid Christmas romances unless they are queer. I don’t do that for romances in general, it’s just Christmas … isn’t for me. But if it’s queer of course i’ll give it a shot! This is an F/F Christmas romance by a queer, disabled, autistic writer! Queer, disabled and autistic, like me! 🙂

Unburied: A Collection of Queer Dark Fiction by Rebecca Rowland

Queer. Horror. Do I need to say more?

Sunscreen & Coconuts by Eliza Lentzski

An F/F summery romance.

The Sacrifice; Box Set by Brittany Strokes

Tentacle romance. Yup. I used to think it was too weird, then I read a good tentacle romance and now it’s a thing …

Monster Lust 1 (Werewolf, Dinosaur, Vampire, Bigfoot Erotica): 5 Stories of Powerful Creatures and the Innocent Women They Seduce by Devon Marlowe

Monsters need love to, ok? Honestly I saw someone had that has a goodreads shelf (Monsters need love to) and stole it. Yea, i’m down for some monster fucking, deal with it.

Zombie Necro a Go-Go: 6 Erotic Short Stories About Dead Things by Elizabeth Bedlam

These should be disturbing and for some reason i’m compelled to consume disturbing things.

Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta

Again, monsters need love to, and i’ve heard good and interesting things about this one.

Hot Queer Witches Fight Demons: a f/nonbinary erotic suspense by Lia Meyers

A F/NB witchy short erotica. I haven’t read this yet because … why?

Collected Christmas Horror Shorts, Vol. II by Kevin J. Kennedy

The kind of Christmas stories I love is horror. Holiday horror, yes please. I might just be a Grinch.

The Bennet Women by Eden Appiah-Kubi

Sounds like a good romance and it has a trans woman MC.

Midnight From Beyond the Stars by Kenneth W. Cain

Horror anthology. Something about aliens.

This is Halloween by James A. Moore

Horror Halloween themed anthology.

Bite Back (Library of Teeth, #1) by Molly Likovich

Queer vampire erotica with bisexual characters. I don’t know why I haven’t devoured this yet! I watch the author on Youtube and Instagram as well. It sounds amazing (to me)!

COWS by Matthew Stokoe

From what i’ve heard, due to personal reasons, this may be too much for me. It’s super disgusting. I want to give it a shot though.

The Book of Queer Saints by Mae Murray

Queer. Anthology. Horror. If I need to say more you obviously don’t know me lol.

Magazines! You can borrow 3 magazine subscriptions through KU (of what they have available). Right now I have 2. They don’t count against the 20 max.

BBC Wildlife Magazine by Immediate Media Company London Ltd

Animals! Nature! Me love.

BBC Science Focus Magazine by Immediate Media Company London Ltd

Me learn things lol.

Do you have kindle unlimited? What have you borrowed? Have you read any of these? Thoughts?

Links to all my socials: https://linktr.ee/Wickedjr

All my stories on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedjr89

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