Fidget Toys are Magic (and self-discovery in my 30s)

At 30 I realized i’m nonbinary trans. At 31 almost 32 I learned i’m autistic, at around the same time my husband and grandmother, my 2 supporters, died just a month apart (and me and my husband had finally just moved into our own home 2 weeks prior to his death, with my grandma dying weeks before we moved in and him dying weeks after, so you can imagine the inner chaos from learning i’m autistic during that time). Now 33 i’m learning I have ADHD as well.

I have recently discovered fidget toys can help me pay attention while watching stuff! Youtube videos, tv shows etc. I have so much trouble paying attention! Fidget toys help. They are stimulating, entertaining, calming. Where has this knowledge been all my life?!

Learning so much about myself in my 30s shows me self-discovery is a lifelong journey. You are never too old.

You are never too old.

I’m sorry that’s depressing but it’s my truth and I am proud to be autistic now. What’s depressing is the deaths and the chaos, not the autism.

Knowledge is power. I understand myself better now, seeing my childhood in a whole new lens. I can use this knowledge to understand myself, better understand others, and help myself through life. And it helps me to be proud of who I am. Before I thought I was just a failed human who couldn’t figure out how to human. Now, I know better. I’m not a failure, i’m just neurodivergent. And i’m awesome just the way I am.

Links to all my socials

Autistic people to follow on Instagram!

If you want to support actually autistic people and want to learn but have no idea where to start, here are some autistic instagrammers I recommend you follow!

Disabled.Autistic.Lesbian They have so much information on being autistic! They give autistic media rec’s, share information, and sing! A link in their bio will also take you to their YouTube channel.

TheAutisticLife So much information on autism!

Autienelle Again, so much information about being autistic! As well as beautiful pictures.

Fidgets.And.Fries She is a black autistic mom of 2 autistic black boys. So much of autistic advocacy, is white. She brings light to stuff that is badly needed to be seen and yet so many, including white autistic people, ignore.

ActuallyAutisticTikToks It’s exactly what it says. A bunch of tik toks by actually autistic people!

NeurodivergentRebel They are a late (though a little earlier than me) discovered autistic person. So much autistic pride! I love their page and they make YouTube videos to! A link to it is in their bio.

LifeInAutismWorld Many posts about being autistic.

It may not be a ton but there’s still a lot of information on all of them! It’s a wonderful start!