Fidget Toys are Magic (and self-discovery in my 30s)

At 30 I realized i’m nonbinary trans. At 31 almost 32 I learned i’m autistic, at around the same time my husband and grandmother, my 2 supporters, died just a month apart (and me and my husband had finally just moved into our own home 2 weeks prior to his death, with my grandma dying weeks before we moved in and him dying weeks after, so you can imagine the inner chaos from learning i’m autistic during that time). Now 33 i’m learning I have ADHD as well.

I have recently discovered fidget toys can help me pay attention while watching stuff! Youtube videos, tv shows etc. I have so much trouble paying attention! Fidget toys help. They are stimulating, entertaining, calming. Where has this knowledge been all my life?!

Learning so much about myself in my 30s shows me self-discovery is a lifelong journey. You are never too old.

You are never too old.

I’m sorry that’s depressing but it’s my truth and I am proud to be autistic now. What’s depressing is the deaths and the chaos, not the autism.

Knowledge is power. I understand myself better now, seeing my childhood in a whole new lens. I can use this knowledge to understand myself, better understand others, and help myself through life. And it helps me to be proud of who I am. Before I thought I was just a failed human who couldn’t figure out how to human. Now, I know better. I’m not a failure, i’m just neurodivergent. And i’m awesome just the way I am.

Links to all my socials

30 in 30 Manga Reading Challenge – November POP

30 manga volumes in 30 days, can I do it? PLUS Nonfiction November?! Who the hell knows but imma have fun trying.

Here is RealmofComics announcement video

Yes I did a Nonfiction November POP (pile of possibilities) and now i’m doing this, also for November. I will see what I get through, if I don’t complete anything that’s fine as long as I have fun trying. At least that’s what i’m telling myself. Here are some manga options I have.

Food Wars! Quite awhile ago I read the first 12 volumes (out of 36) of Food Wars and … stopped for some reason, despite loving it! So I want to reread them and finish the series, I have all 36 volumes ffs! I’m sure I won’t finish it in November, unless I decide to not break it up and go on a super Food Wars binge. But if after whatever I get to in November I read a few volumes a month i’d get it done, so that’s the plan.

Dance in the Vampire Bund Similar to Food Wars I read the first 8 volumes and I should have everything that’s been released (in English in the USA) so far (there are more series to it than just the main one) but it’s been awhile so I want to reread the first 8 and then continue and catch up.

Citrus Plus Vol. 4 is due out Nov 22nd and I have it preordered! So assuming I get it before December i’ll be reading this! I miss Yuzu and Mei! (cover links to Goodreads)

Other potential manga (covers link to Goodreads)

Obviously some of these are the start of a series that if I like i may decide to continue, meaning I might be buying manga in November lol. I have Girl Friends Collection 1 but there is a collection 2 as well. Giant Spider & Me I only have volume 1 of. That Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime … I originally bought what I thought was the first 3 volumes BUT at the time I was a noob and had NO IDEA about “light novels” so what I got was volume 1 and 3 of the manga and volume 2 of the light novel! Ugh. But i’ve borrowed volume 2, the manga, from comixology.

I have 3 volumes of Love me for who I am, which is not all of them. I’ve read the first one but it’s been awhile so … I have all 5 volumes of Fluffy, Fluffy Cinnamoroll. I only have volume 1 of Franken Fran and Boys Run the Riot.

I have 16 volumes (which is all that’s out at the moment, volume 17 has been pushed back so many times at this point i’ve lost track) of Monster Musume and have been reading it (slowly, since my initial goal was to catch up about the same time volume 17 was released but at this point i’m not sure it ever will be so fuck it). I’ve read 9 volumes of Monster Musume so far so I could read volumes 10 – 16. I’ll probably pick up at least a volume or 2. Of course all this is assuming I don’t pick up any of these before November lol.

I only have volume 1 of Spy X Family. And yes I have all 3 volumes of After Hours as it shows. Have I read any of them? No. And no, I haven’t watched any of the anime’s, except Citrus.

Links to all my socials

Nonfiction November POP (Pile of Possibilities)

I love Nonfiction but don’t read enough of it! I aim to change that! I’ve participated in Nonfiction November before. At first I thought I wasn’t going to pay attention to the prompts but then with Olive explaining different ways to interpret them and the Nonfiction November reading challenge on storygraph with recommendations I decided i’ll give them a shot!

Nonfic Nov announcement by abookolive

Nonfic book recommendations by abookolive

Nonfic November storygraph reading challenge

I’ve also made an Expand your mind with Nonfiction 2023 reading challenge for myself on storygraph. I made it public in case anyone wants to join in. Even though there are 24 prompts a book may fit more than 1 (and as 2023 implies goes through-out all of next year).

This is NOT all of my possibilities as that would be ridiculously long. I have a lot more possibilities for Record and Element (mostly Record) than I do Border and Secret (the 4 optional prompts) but I still have options for each. So here are just some of my options. Also some of the options work for multiple prompts but I only put them in one here.

Each of the covers should link to the Goodreads page if you wanna check them out!





Other (many of which do actually fit a prompt)

Yes, that is a lot, and yes I have even more possibilities lol but i’ll stop here because that is still a lot. I either have the book or it’s available on hoopla, libby or scribd for me.

I am so excited for Nonfiction November! Are you planning to join? Have you joined before? Do you enjoy Nonfiction? There are so many subgenres and wonderful writers I truly think there is something out there for everyone! Have you read any of the above books and if so what did you think of them?

Links to all my socials

Big League Sherb #5 Strain Review

As I do have a YouTube but am also a spoonie and videos take more energy than blog posts I figure i’ll do some strain reviews on YouTube and some on here, if I feel like it.

I bought an 1/8th. I’m sure that’s more than an 1/8th lol. I’m also sure i’ve been shorted before so i guess this makes up for it lol.

I love BLS #5! It gets me nice and high with a body buzz. It helps my pain and stomach issues. Gives me a nice relaxing mood. It smells nice to. It’s fairly potent. THCa: 22.63%

And potency is about more than just THC levels! I’ve gotten higher off Tropicanna Cookies at 13.30% than I did at something with almost 30%, so it honestly baffles me that people are THC chasers. Like, yes, THC matters but it is not ALL that matters. There are other cannabinoids, terpenes, how well it’s grown …

So when I say it’s potent I mean it doesn’t take me a lot to get high and to feel the affects.

I give it a solid 9/10.

Links to all my socials

Wednesday Wrap Up October 12th, 2022

What I Am Currently Reading

The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas – I’m 105 pages in as of writing this and enjoying it so far! Took a little bit to get going but i’m interested now.

What I’ve Recently Finished

Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (The Second Norton Critical Edition) – I love Frankenstein so much. Loved some of the essays, not so much others.

What Do I Think I’ll Read Next?

Whatever I feel like then.

Other Stuff

With everything I got going on, the possible new hernia while still recovering from hernia repair surgery (I see the Dr tomorrow) among other things, i’m going to stop posting on a schedule. I do already have a couple posts scheduled to go but from now on i’m just going to blog when I REALLY want to. When I have something I really want to say, maybe it’s gushing about a new favorite book or deep diving into a book or some other topic. Could be cannabis related, could be news related, could be book related, could be life related etc. Just whatever calls to me to blog about. So i’ll be sporadic from now on but the posts I make will have more passion behind them.

I also recently made a storygraph profile! It is here if you want to check it out.

I also added it to my linktree links, which has all my socials in one spot.

Links to all my socials

The End of the Year Book Tag

Are there any books you started this year that you need to finish?

Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley – Specifically the second Norton critical edition, where i’m currently reading the essays after the story. Actually I started this last year in October, don’t @ me. lol

Cannabis Pharmacy: The Practical Guide to Medical Marijuana by Michael Backes – Still working on it but i’m sure i’ll have it done by the end of the year …

Do you have a book or autumnal book to transition into the end of the year?

Not that I know of

Is there a new release you’re still waiting for?

Saga, Volume 10 by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples – I’m typing this October 1st, I still have to reread volumes 7-9 but they are comics so it shouldn’t take too long, and volume 10 is coming out this month!! FINALLY!

Citrus Plus Vol. 4 by Saburouta – I love Citrus and I miss Yuzu and Mei between volumes. This should come out in November last I checked.

What are three books you want to read before the end of the year?

The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas – I want to read this already! It’s gothic and it sounds so good and so many people have loved it already!

The Devil Takes You Home by Gabino Iglesias – This also sounds really good and I know people have been loving it recently!

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice – I read the first 3 books in The Vampire Chronicles years ago. I loved them but never continued the series. The tv show is now out and I really want to watch it! I wanted to restart the series by now but … oops. I do have the first 3 on audio so that might help!

Though note: If I don’t get to any of them, that is ok to.

Is there a book you think could still shock you and become your favorite book of the year?

I don’t know, maybe, there are still 3 more months left!

Have you already started making reading plans for 2023?

Nope. I don’t think I plan to.

Links to all my socials

September Book Haul Part 2

Kindle Books

States of Love: California Crush by Ann Omasta and Callie Love
Open Evening by Lee Hall
Midnight Ash by Ana Ashley
Riptide by Mickey Friedman
Grave Digger Academy by C.A. King
Hot Shot by Pippa Green
Broken: A Suspense Thriller by Brooke Linford
Breakaway by E.M. Lindsey
Between Bloode and Stone by Marie Harte
The Stolen Twin by Michele Pariza Wacek

Audio Books

As I think i’ll be buying less books (less, not none! lol) I think i’m going to change it up a little and do 1 monthly book haul instead of 2 from now on.

September Wrap Up

What I Read

Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor – 4 stars

Thought provoking and interesting. Not sure what to say though, but glad I read it.

Dracula by Bram Stoker – DNF

I give up. I read Dracula (all of it) a few years ago. I didn’t like it. I thought maybe i’d appreciate it more now, but I don’t. I listened to 2 chapters. The narrators are great, if you love Dracula check it out (you can find it on – has Tim Curry and a whole cast). I’m bored. I hate that I don’t like it, I LOVE vampires … generally. But this just doesn’t work for me. I really thought i’d be able to get into it but I can’t, I just can’t. I’ve loved (years ago, I need to rewatch it) the Dracula movie with Gary Oldman. I should just rewatch it.

Slewfoot: A Tale of Bewitchery by Brom – 5 stars!

I am so glad I loved this one just as much as I did Krampus: The Yule Lord! I saw the same things in it that made me love Krampus enough to read it 3 times already. Maybe i’ll revist Slewfoot later to.

I’m not entirely sure what else to say. I loved Abitha. She’s a strong woman who goes through so much shit. I loved Samson as well. I loved the messages in the story. I just want everyone to experience it for themselves and it’s perfect for spooky season!

Other Stuff

I watched A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. I enjoyed it and gave it 4 stars on letterboxd. I still have to finish the franchise.

Happy Spooky Month!

Links to all my socials

October POP (Pile of Possibilities)

Kindle Unlimited

Stuff I might read via KU

Creatures, Creatures Everywhere! Group Read (I may or may not read this)

Currently Reading (since I still haven’t finished the Norton edition of Frankenstein yet or Cannabis Pharmacy. The Weird i’ve taken a long break from, it’s a HUGE anthology, so I will not finish it but I might read a few stories that are in it)


The eclecticist of eclectic book club Group Read (I must read this)

Other random books for one reason or another

Is this all the possibilities? HAHAHA no. Of course i’m not going to read all these and I may read other things, especially if I get to any graphic novels and want to continue on with the series. But if I want to read something completely different, that is ok to. These are just some options to give me some place to start when thinking about what book to pick up next, and only some of the ones i’ve written down lol. Hence, a POP not a TBR.

Also, movies and tv shows I might watch because spooky month: Finish the Elm St. Series (i’ve watched the first 4 so far), rewatch the first Night of the Living Dead and continue the series, The Addams Family, Beetlejuice, Uzumaki, Halloween Ends, rewatch Hocus Pocus 1 and then watch the sequel, Sonic 2, the Chucky tv series, The Winchester upcoming show, MLP: Make your mark, Interview with the vampire tv series, Misery, The Little Shop of Horrors, The Creature from the black lagoon, The Thing, continue The Skull Man tv series (I’ve watched 3 episodes …), and more. Who knows. Yes, I have a big list, like more than I am sharing here because it’s … a lot. But this gives you an idea. And maybe some games to.

Links to all my socials